Baby Blues

I'm not sure what's wrong with me...lately, I've been thinking about my own child. I'm not sure if its because my brother just had a baby, my bestie is preggers, or that everyone around me has children or are about too. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in on something that I want for myself. A FAMILY. It's probably not going to happen anytime soon. I'm not in a place where I feel comfortable bringing a child into this mad world. I also have a feeling that I can't.

Well yesterday I came across this website that combines features of Mom and Dad then it spits out a picture of what your baby would look like.

Meet my lil baby boy. He's soo cute. I sent Jin a picture of him and he said he looks like a lil' pervert. LOL I immediately became all defensive, maybe it was my motherly instincts. I ended up printing a picture of my baby, his name is London, but I'm not sure if I'd actually name my child that. I just needed to name it so that I could save the picture. It's on the fridge; is that creepy? When I put it up I kept looking at it. Walking by and staring at it. Then I had a moment, I just broke down and started crying.

My birthday is around the corner, I'll be 28 and all that keeps popping in my mind is my biological clock. I told myself that if I can't get pregnant by the time I'm 35 then there will be no baby for me. I'm not going to be one of the women that you hear about on the news. You know, MOM 65 has a baby! Nope not gonna be me. I just pray that it will happen before then

Now, I know my baby wouldn't come out looking like that, but its nice to have an idea...